Female Undeclared Thoughts

I'm stressed. I have been stressed since a while. I'm not supposed to share that with my employees but it has been overflowing recently. I know that GOD will support me and things will get better at work. I exerted much effort in this and I spent many years to make it work so it will. I just miss being loved. It's strange; we spend our lives searching for others' love and tenderness. I miss the old days. I miss my memories. I'm not sure whether I miss me or the actions we used to do then or the people I used to know then or the feelings I used to feel then or all of that. Will a human being ever be satisfied?

I know there is an age gap. It was a shock when I first knew. I'm not sure how I feel. There's something about him; maybe his innocence, how he treats kids, his lovely smile, his kindness....I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel we communicate through our eyes; how we exchange looks like we are having a conversation. I then feel like he must be feeling there is something inside me for him. Maybe he's not sure, which makes sense as I don't even understand what I feel towards him, but he must be feeling there is something. Sometimes I feel like he is thinking about it; that he's considered, even though he sometimes ignores my looks...maybe on purpose because he is not sure that what he is thinking of is true...maybe because he's not interested. I don't know if my analysis is even true. Maybe he never noticed in the first place. I gave hints. I did some signs on purpose to grab his attention, several times. I believe my looks say a lot. I felt he could transla

It has been a decade now. I'm wondering if the journey deserves all this effort...all the suffering...sacrificing my personal life and my peace of mind. Looking back on those 10 years, I achieved nothing. I didn't reach my dreams...not even close. I just survived failure after failure. The company didn't grow. Profit was not achieved as expected. I didn't live neither the fame nor the luxurious life. I even didn't make a difference in the world or impact on people. Nothing was achieved. Same for my personal life; I didn't marry and I have no kids. I never tried the taste of being a mother although I love children so much.  I even didn't try sex that I'm starving for. I didn't live the full romance although I'm a very romantic person who came from an old outdated movie in the 40s. I just got involved in failed relationships, one after the other. What did I do for 10 years? What achievements did I make? Those years were supposed to be the peak