Memories of the Future
10 years from now...in my company office...in the tall building surrounded by a beautiful garden, I sit in front of my desk...looking out of the window from where sunlight penetrates. Finally, a less stressful work day...short break from the usual overload. Lot of thoughts jumping around in my mind, I lean back the chair and smile: "I achieved my dream. Here I am...finally. I spent so many years struggling. I sacrificed a lot in my personal life." The smile fades away.
A knock on the door freaked out my thoughts that they ran out of my mind.The secretary entered telling me that someone is waiting to meet me. I opened the calendar; there are no meetings today!
Although I didn't feel like having another unscheduled meeting in the few minutes of my break, I felt like I have no choice but to let the guest in. Lot of inquiries in my head!
As I raised my head, I saw his face...with that attractive smile still on as if the years could not sweep it out. For a moment, I froze, as if the time stopped at this point.
He stretched his arm to shake hands, melting this frozen moment. My hand reached 100 degrees in his. However, my body still shivers from his touch. I pulled my hand slowly from his. I preceded him to the sitting area.
Looking at him closely this time, as we sit, he has some white hair and he is fatter. He smiled at me saying: "you still look beautiful and sexy". Feeling shy, I asked: "How are you?"
He started talking about his work. He traveled two years after the last time we were together...working for a big organization now...got promoted to a very good position. I was following his news then I just lost track. I wondered a lot if he is trying to follow mine.
Looking at his wedding ring, I asked "how is your family?" He searched in his mobile and showed me his kids photo. He has four kids now. Something inside me cracked.
He looked at my fingers asking "still single?" I smiled with a "yes".
He looked into my eyes with passion then said in a true tone "Missed you". As if all these years changed nothing in him; he still disappears for long time then comes back to say that he misses me!
I looked at my watch. He felt embarrassed... resuming "busy? I just felt like seeing you. Things changed."
Ironic smile on my face...he resumed "I still love you."
Everything seemed so silent at this moment...even my heart beats. He grabbed my hands saying "I was just waiting for the right time."
I wondered whether it is the right time for him or for me!
For me, he is still that same person...same approach...same words...everything is just the same like it was 10 years ago. He still has that same childish look on his face by which I was abused many times. I felt like he is my child that I lost 10 years ago and have just found now...yeah...to that extent it is killing me!
Lot of quick scenes popping into my mind from old memories cave, back in my head. As the film runs into my mind, I could see his lips moving but I didn't hear the words...however, I was saying each word loudly inside as I know them by heart.
Yeah...he's right...things change. Feelings also change. My feelings towards him are not the same. He came back when circumstances became better. Didn't fight to win me over. He left it to destiny; if it is wrapped for him, he will take it...else, he will just surrender to life. What if I was married too? What about the 10 youthful years that we were deprived from living together...that were spent in much pain? We must have changed too. We are completely two different persons who need to rediscover each other to know whether we will still fall in love with one another now.
Thoughts hurt sometimes.
I looked out of the window saying "I am really happy I saw you today. You brought a lot of beautiful memories to my mind. Please, keep in touch."
With a broken voice, he said "still stubborn?!"
Moments of silence seemed like rocks falling from a high mountain on my heart, breaking it into pieces, without making any noise. Me only could hear the cracking of my heart...then I could hear the rattle of the door. I felt so scared to look behind to find that he just left...again.
I kept gazing out of the window, with many memories dancing in my mind. I smiled while a tear carved a line into my cheek.
A knock on the door freaked out my thoughts that they ran out of my mind.The secretary entered telling me that someone is waiting to meet me. I opened the calendar; there are no meetings today!
Although I didn't feel like having another unscheduled meeting in the few minutes of my break, I felt like I have no choice but to let the guest in. Lot of inquiries in my head!
As I raised my head, I saw his face...with that attractive smile still on as if the years could not sweep it out. For a moment, I froze, as if the time stopped at this point.
He stretched his arm to shake hands, melting this frozen moment. My hand reached 100 degrees in his. However, my body still shivers from his touch. I pulled my hand slowly from his. I preceded him to the sitting area.
Looking at him closely this time, as we sit, he has some white hair and he is fatter. He smiled at me saying: "you still look beautiful and sexy". Feeling shy, I asked: "How are you?"
He started talking about his work. He traveled two years after the last time we were together...working for a big organization now...got promoted to a very good position. I was following his news then I just lost track. I wondered a lot if he is trying to follow mine.
Looking at his wedding ring, I asked "how is your family?" He searched in his mobile and showed me his kids photo. He has four kids now. Something inside me cracked.
He looked at my fingers asking "still single?" I smiled with a "yes".
He looked into my eyes with passion then said in a true tone "Missed you". As if all these years changed nothing in him; he still disappears for long time then comes back to say that he misses me!
I looked at my watch. He felt embarrassed... resuming "busy? I just felt like seeing you. Things changed."
Ironic smile on my face...he resumed "I still love you."
Everything seemed so silent at this moment...even my heart beats. He grabbed my hands saying "I was just waiting for the right time."
I wondered whether it is the right time for him or for me!
For me, he is still that same person...same approach...same words...everything is just the same like it was 10 years ago. He still has that same childish look on his face by which I was abused many times. I felt like he is my child that I lost 10 years ago and have just found now...yeah...to that extent it is killing me!
Lot of quick scenes popping into my mind from old memories cave, back in my head. As the film runs into my mind, I could see his lips moving but I didn't hear the words...however, I was saying each word loudly inside as I know them by heart.
Yeah...he's right...things change. Feelings also change. My feelings towards him are not the same. He came back when circumstances became better. Didn't fight to win me over. He left it to destiny; if it is wrapped for him, he will take it...else, he will just surrender to life. What if I was married too? What about the 10 youthful years that we were deprived from living together...that were spent in much pain? We must have changed too. We are completely two different persons who need to rediscover each other to know whether we will still fall in love with one another now.
Thoughts hurt sometimes.
I looked out of the window saying "I am really happy I saw you today. You brought a lot of beautiful memories to my mind. Please, keep in touch."
With a broken voice, he said "still stubborn?!"
Moments of silence seemed like rocks falling from a high mountain on my heart, breaking it into pieces, without making any noise. Me only could hear the cracking of my heart...then I could hear the rattle of the door. I felt so scared to look behind to find that he just left...again.
I kept gazing out of the window, with many memories dancing in my mind. I smiled while a tear carved a line into my cheek.
~ Memories of an iron lady!! ^_^ Somehow, there's a deep meaning between every "single" line. Whether we reach our goals or not, a real man should do his best to remain an honorable person in his mermaid memories. Just it's a pity, that some people can only talk, just talk without real action.
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