Men...



Have a lot of thoughts struggling inside…lot of inquiries about religion, beliefs, culture…the mix of all of them together where people cannot distinguish anymore whether we are following our religion or culture or a belief. They are all blended together that we cannot actually map our actions to its correct referral origin. I think that the blend resulted in a hideous result.
I am getting more rebellious against a lot of ideas that people are living with on daily basis. Recently, I am getting so angry towards a lot of stuff that totally degrades women and humiliate them…just one of many issues. When I thought about it, it’s not only a problem that is related to Arab culture…women are searching for their rights everywhere in the world, there are many associations for women rights in Europe and USA. Even at IBM, women had groups to prove to IBM worldwide what they do and that they are as efficient as men!
I think that is what I have been suffering from internally for long time…that’s why I have been always resisting to be a man’s property. I think that’s how I have been thinking of it all the time without confronting myself with how I actually think of it…I kept telling myself a lot of reasons about freedom, love…but at the end, I think they all fall under how I hated the way men consider women.
I have been struggling all the time to succeed at work, make my own business, to be independent…I resisted the intimate relations because a man should not get that close…when it’s too close, I spoil it…I just step back…return to my free soul and independence. There should always be a distance…enough distance to be free…I don’t want to be chained to male thoughts.
No matter how a man is open-minded, still there is that deep part inside that triggers his male racism. He may seem totally understanding until we disagree at a point…we respect the different opinions but when a decision has to be taken, then it’s his…because he is simply the “man”.
I thought deeper about how we suffer from sexual harassment…everywhere. Then, after marriage, women are responsible for everything; work, home, cooking, children, men…millions of things; and when she asks for support, she is blamed for thinking of her own self by 5% by building her own career!
When I was at school, a student asked my teacher if men are promised very beautiful women in heaven, what shall women get in return? Anything equivalent? The teacher kept describing all the beautiful things in heaven that a man shall get too! I still wonder if there is an answer for that question.
Suddenly, all the hidden feelings are exploding…all the struggle that was buried inside…I’m not even sure why now.
I have seen good examples for men in despite of seeing many bad examples. I don’t blame them anyway. It’s how we were raised…the environment, nature, culture, beliefs, and many other factors contributed in shaping men that way with different grades and levels according to each culture. Maybe some men could free their souls from most of it as much as they could. It’s not an easy task…the accumulation of such ideas for decades is hard to get rid of.
I wonder why it is that painful now!

Comments

  1. Unknown21/4/15 08:24

    I enjoyed reading this. Can relate to so many points. With regards to men i think it all comes to how you said it at the end, it's a cultural and social accumulation of so many things. I have met many men who are not fitting into this stereotypes either because they are coming from cultures that look at women differently or because they questioned their surroundings enough to come up with their own ideology. So keep questioning while you're alive, i like your questioning, i think it is a continuous process of سعي that adds to our life's worth :)

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  2. Abdou Taraphi - عبده طرابيه21/4/15 09:29

    ~ Peace be upon you! I salute you for being honest with yourself as with others. Yep it's your first post, but it says a lot about the inner power of yours.
    ~ Wherever women present in our society, we found verbal and physical harassment. Whether the woman were black or white, slim or fat, tall or short, polite or impolite almost every man look at her with sexual desire.
    ~ Even when it comes to work, women doesn't take the same salary as men in the same work level. Usually men get double or even triple salary than women in here.
    ~ About Heaven, as I've studied once before, women gonna get as much as men gonna get in Heaven except one thing which is the 72 virgins "Houri", women will be provided with only one man, and they will be satisfied with him.
    ~ Keep your head up, am proud of you.

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