Female Undeclared Thoughts

10 years from now...in my company office...in the tall building surrounded by a beautiful garden, I sit in front of my desk...looking out of the window from where sunlight penetrates. Finally, a less stressful work day...short break from the usual overload. Lot of thoughts jumping around in my mind, I lean back the chair and smile: "I achieved my dream. Here I am...finally. I spent so many years struggling. I sacrificed a lot in my personal life." The smile fades away. A knock on the door freaked out my thoughts that they ran out of my mind.The secretary entered telling me that someone is waiting to meet me. I opened the calendar; there are no meetings today! Although I didn't feel like having another unscheduled meeting in the few minutes of my break, I felt like I have no choice but to let the guest in. Lot of inquiries in my head! As I raised my head, I saw his face...with that attractive smile still on as if the years could not sweep it out. For a moment, I froz...

Sitting there by my side in the cafe, he smiled at me then poured some coffee in my cup. I looked into the cup...it's empty! He then resumed talking. I never memorized any of the words he usually says. He always victimizes himself by talking about circumstances...as if he always has no choice. He is always driven by mysterious force! He kept talking but no words actually reached my ears...I could see them flying around. I shivered. I looked at the cafe glass door...it's very sunny outside! I said "It's very cold here"...but he didn't pay attention. He was busy talking. I had another look at the glass door, I saw children playing. I smiled. I thought I may excuse him to go to the bathroom then sneak out for some fresh air and warm sunlight. I was about to stand when surprisingly I couldn't move my leg! Panicky, I looked down to find that my leg is tied to the chair with chains!! I could feel the panic popping out of my look, scudding across the place....

Have a lot of thoughts struggling inside…lot of inquiries about religion, beliefs, culture…the mix of all of them together where people cannot distinguish anymore whether we are following our religion or culture or a belief. They are all blended together that we cannot actually map our actions to its correct referral origin. I think that the blend resulted in a hideous result. I am getting more rebellious against a lot of ideas that people are living with on daily basis. Recently, I am getting so angry towards a lot of stuff that totally degrades women and humiliate them…just one of many issues. When I thought about it, it’s not only a problem that is related to Arab culture…women are searching for their rights everywhere in the world, there are many associations for women rights in Europe and USA. Even at IBM, women had groups to prove to IBM worldwide what they do and that they are as efficient as men! I think that is what I have been suffering from internally for long time...