Female Undeclared Thoughts

It breaks my heart...when a man cries. A scene that we are not used to. Culture has deprived them from their right of expressing their weakness...their sadness...most of their emotions, just because of their sex. No matter how civilized and open minded I am struggling to be, I still have this mixed feelings of sympathy and contempt. It still raises this question of what this character would turn out to be. Maybe I am just afraid of his weakness towards me although this fear is deeply mixed with happiness and satisfaction...and it raises my self confidence that I feed on. However, I feel evil when I am using this...gradually I will hate myself. Am I using this? Honestly, I don't know! Although love is as beautiful as how artists describe it in their poems and drawings, it is full of many ugly feelings like weakness, selfishness, exhaustion from such heavy burden and duties....it's not that easy to live love. After a while, tears don't motivate me like before. I saw we...

Have you ever felt like you are talking a language that no one understands? That's exactly what I am feeling...and actually what I have been feeling since sometime ago. My language only makes sense to me. It's getting harder to live among people who speak a different language that doesn't make sense to you. I ran into one or two who speak my language and I decided to stuck with them as long as I can because it makes me feel safe to be with people who can understand. It's good to feel that you are not insane as people think because you are just different. At some moments, I just wish I can surrender and learn their language or just adapt to it regardless of how meaningful it is to me. I feel so bad then. It's just like cutting your wrist because you cannot convince people that you are using your hand for many jobs and cannot get rid of it! You then look at the mirror and you don't recognize yourself without that part of you. I wonder if it became so hard for...