Female Undeclared Thoughts

I'm cured. I have been sick for around two years with a serious disease. Every now and then, my heart enlightens with that hope of defeating this chronic illness. I have been through more than one healing period. Each time, I try to pull myself up to stand on my feet again, trying to kill that pain forever. At some moments, I surrendered. I thought I had to live with it...I believed there was no way out. Now...I'm healed. It's very surprising how you can lie to yourself for such a long period. You see the truth but you deny it and you prefer to live in a lie instead! Such a painful experience. What really hurts is not the experience itself but the truth behind it...the distorted image of someone you once thought you know well. People have their own faults and weakness. I believe I was trying all the time to be understanding and accept people as they are. However, it's very hard to accept a fake personality that claimed to be someone else. Once you start lying till ...

I  stepped forward, on some dried leaves on the path...hesitated...I stopped then stepped back. I looked around, discovering the place. What path shall I take? It's confusing! All paths are vague to me...same ambiguity. I kept thinking for moments while taking a longer look at each road...as if the longer the look, the easier the decision is! How much I wished there was any sign that could just direct me to the most proper path to take! Sun is packing...about to leave...I need to take a quicker decision. I left my leg to step into the front road when a paper flew close to my head...it was coming from the left road. Papers were rolling into the road. I could see numbers on it. It's mathematics. I love math. Numbers are straight forward. Maybe that's the sign! I turned and stepped into the left road. I grabbed a paper and looked at it. It's my work financials!! Panicky, I started collecting the papers. As they were rolling, I ran with the wind to catch them...till th...